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Multi-tasking – is it really that great a skill?

multi-tasking

Apparently as a woman I’m very good at multi-tasking. Why is then that I’m not that proud of my ability?

Multi-tasking, an ability or a necessity?

I just ask because I’ve noticed that if I’m sitting at the kitchen table trying to write a blog post surrounded by 4 children all demanding food, drink or answers to really important questions like ‘why do you have to whack fish when you catch them?’ simultaneouly that I am expected to just juggle it all. At the very worst I’m supposed to drop the blog post and deal with the rest. Only once everything else is satisfied do I feel allowed to return to the blog. And of course everything else is never satisfied.

So much research tells us that multi-tasking isn’t actually a good thing. It is far more productive to focus on one task at a time. Multi tasking slows down our overall output. Yet women seem to have no choice but to get on with it. We’re told women can multi-task, men can’t but I think the truth might be that women don’t have the luxury of not multi-tasking.

Why are there different rules for him and her?

However, when he is writing a blog post, or typing a comment in to Facebook and someone else dares to talk to him, usually me, they get at best a grit of the teeth and at worst told to leave him alone he’s trying to work.

If we are both in the kitchen and a child wants something they will immediately ask ‘mum’. A friend of mine told me recently about when she was out at work all day and her husband had the children. She returned home to find him playing computer games while the two young children sat playing quietly…until they saw her. Then it was ‘mummy, I need a drink’, ‘mummy, what’s for tea?’. How do men get away with it?

Do women expect to multi-task while men have a right to focus?

Are we women at fault for just coping with it all so well? Should we shout ‘leave me alone’ more often? Or does that go against our instincts especially when it’s children that are demanding our attention?

Even as I write this I can hear huffing an puffing from him further along the kitchen table as he juggles holding a sleeping (not demanding!) baby while trying to edit an email. The only reason I’ve surrendered the body is that my back is too sore to hold the bundle any longer. Normally that would be me typing away one-handed with a softly snoring darling snuggled into my shoulder. You should see how good I’ve got at typing with me left-hand only.

Perhaps women are their own worst enemy. Or perhaps our children in particular are just too precious to us to demand the extravagance of single-tasking as it would inevitably mean turning their demands and needs away.

What does this mean for women, especially mothers, who work from home?

I don’t have the answers to this question? I want the answers! My own experience is that I constantly feel like I’m juggling everything and everyone. The task is never finished. Consequently I’m often tired, irritable and downright miserable. Of course I love my children etc etc and sure I wouldn’t have it any other way. No wait – actually I might. If I could just tweak things a little to allow time to breathe for myself now and then, perhaps I wouldn’t feel quite so washed out.

How do women, mothers in particular, cope with working from home? According to a previous blog post I wrote apparently I do, and of course yes I still agree with everything I wrote but sometimes it just feels too hard. If you are one who manages it, please let me know how you do it as I don’t think I do and I could do with some advice.

Of course since starting this post the adorable sleeping bundle woke up, demanded mummy and has returned to me. Oh well, back to the one handed, cack handed typing it is…

 

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When you get a proper job

What do you want to do when you grow up and get a proper job
So, over the last couple of days I’ve been doing something a little different and to be honest a bit out of my comfort zone – but that’s how we grow right?? I’ve come the closest in a long time to having a proper job.

What do I do?

I’ve been at my children’s school for their ‘career – workplace’ week along with other parents and local businesses. We’ve been talking about our jobs and why we do what we do.
I was really impressed with the questions asked, especially by the older children. I also felt kind of humbled by their understanding of why I do what I do.
When the letter came home the previous week asking parents if they were willing and available to come in for a sort of ‘careers fair’ I half jokingly put my name down for ‘Direct Sales’. To be honest I didn’t think anyone would want me as I don’t work full time and for so many it’s not a ‘proper job’. Would teachers really want me to tell children that I don’t work much because I’m a full time mother and the business I have just fills the gaps?
So I ticked both days meaning I was available for either and expecting to hear nothing.
Well that’ll teach me! They asked me to come in both days and I was the only person who did do both days!

What do you want to do when you grow up and get a proper job?

I know when I was young parenthood wasn’t a viable career option. Looking back on my education I feel a bit lied to. I grew up feeling empowered and encouraged to change the world. No one explained that if I had children I couldn’t actually have it all. On the contrary I had to make choice.
So I told the children that I used to have another job but gave it up when my children were born. Then I wanted a business that would allow me complete flexibility of time and allow me to earn some money even if not a full time income as it’s not a full time job.
I thought they’d all be more interested to ask what my ‘proper job’ had been before my children were born. Yet not one child asked me that question. Instead they all seemed to get it. Perhaps because our children value the time we spend at home with them, even when we don’t or when we don’t realise how much they appreciate us just ‘being there’.

What did they get out of it?

I don’t know the answer to that. Most of them seemed to want to join the police (he did have much more interesting gadgets and equipment compared to my bookmarks and birthday cards!). Though their eyes did all light up when I explained that my job involves eating a lot of cake.
But I was reminded how clever and astute our children are. When I was 6 it was a visit from a missionary couple that sparked something in me to work overseas. That never left me and was the basis for my previous ‘proper job’. It’s still something I’d like to go back to. But for now my children appreciate me just being there for them. Even if they and I don’t always realise it. So I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, blogging about and selling cards and eating cake.
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Make your Dream come True

Make your dream come true day

Have you ever had a dream come true? I have but more on that later. What do you need to do to make your dream come true?

What do people dream about?

I don’t mean those horrible dreams about your teeth falling out (I’ve had so many of those!) I mean what are people’s ambitions?

If you Google something like ‘how many people want to work for themselves’ you’ll get a range of articles suggesting anything from 45 to 72% of people would rather be self-employed. Those who do want to work for a company want that company to be ethical and responsible. But how many people have managed to do either of those things?

According to Investors in People 60% of workers are not happy in their jobs. That’s a lot of unhappy people and as we all know – a happy workforce is a productive workforce.

What Choice do I have?

Seems there are a few options available to you.

1 – Do Nothing and put up with it.

After all 60% of people are in the same boat why should you be different. Maybe the planets will align better next month and things will improve.

2 – Change your company from the inside.

I’m sure it has been done but not that often. However, if you can then go for it. Not only will you improve your life but the circumstances of your fellow employees too.

3 – Change job.

Start looking around now. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side but you have to open the gate to find out.

4 – Start your own business.

I tried no.1 for a few months and decided life was too short. I found I couldn’t do no.2. The ‘machine’ was too big and powerful and I was too insignificant to have a voice. I tried no.3 and would still go for that option but when I had children I had to give up work and no.4 is working for me just now.

Make Your Dream Come True

I think to do this you need to ask yourself some questions.

  • What do you enjoy most?
  • What sort of work/life balance do you need?
  • How much money do you need (and then how much do you want)?

(As my father-in-law says ‘Money can’t buy happiness…but it helps.’)

Phoenix Trading Christmas wrapping
Wrapping demonstrations are one way I weave my longing to be creative into my work!

When I had children I needed something flexible that I could do in the ‘gaps’ of life. Something with no targets, no expectations or pressure from anyone else. I enjoy selling things and I love mentoring people. I’m a bit crafty though not very good at it but I enjoy making things on my own and with my children. I thrive on making others smile.

So for me, starting my own business selling beautiful, exclusively designed greeting cards and stationery ticked my boxes. No targets or pressure, my business my way. I get to buy and sell which I’ve been doing all my life (family business I was born into). My team are also self-employed and doing the same business but their way and I get to support them and see them grow. I do gift wrapping demonstrations and make decorations out of wrapping paper and paper chains. I get to send lots of cards and make people smile.

What will you do?

Has your dream already come true or do you still need to make some changes?

I guess I’ve had more than one dream come true. When I was 2 my mum and I were staying at a friend’s house for Christmas. I was sleeping on the floor beside mum’s bed and I distinctly remember dreaming that my dad was coming to see us on the train. The next morning I woke up and there he was asleep beside mum in the bed next to me having come on the train overnight. I guess I was probably told he was coming but I didn’t remember being told, just the dream and waking up thinking ‘wow, my dream came true!’. My other dream – to spend as much time as possible with my children, while they are young, now.

Sometimes our dreams seem impossible but in the words of Benjamin Disraeli, “Through perseverance, many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure.”

Make your dream come true disraeli

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Nativity Crafts

I am always being asked for Nativity crafts for Sunday Schools, preschools and in the home so I’ve put together a list of some ideas.

Nativity Crafts for all ages

1 Make your own Nativity Scene

Younger children can have fun cutting out and colouring in their own Nativity Scene.

Or why not draw some Nativity characters together, cut out and stick some lollipop sticks to make some puppets. This lollipop craft slolly stick craft kitet has lots of other ideas too. Then you can act out and talk about the Nativity story.

Alternatively use oven drying clay to make a lasting Nativity set. I found a great clip on Youtube to give you a start.

2 Jigsaw

Do a Nativity related jigsaw. This one is good value with 4 x 500 jigsaws in it. Four jigsaws titled, Window Shopping, Letter to Santa, The Nativity Play and The Queen’s Speech provide an opportunity to talk about lots of aspects of Christmas. Jigsaws are great for developing little minds and doing them together is a great social opportunity too. Plus it will give you some downtime in the run up to Christmas.

3 Nativity picture

Nativity crafts picture Phoenix TradingMake your own framed nativity scene. Cut out old Christmas cards, or draw your own background and characters and turn it in to a framed Nativity scene. Use a deep box frame to build a 3d picture of the Christmas story and then give as a gift.